Dial Tone

I used to know a guy that would never shut up. He'd even call me in the evening and go on about nothing in particular. I was convinced if he was sitting alone he probably produced a dial tone. This Blog is just that, a dial tone, because for the life of me I can't come up with anything clever. Hopefully I will feel more inspired tomorrow...

I do want to apologize to nanuk. As many of you know the Northwest Passage actually opened up for a couple months. Th arctic ice is melting and there may be no summer pack ice at all by 2040. I am apologizing because it is all my fault for running "Old Smokey" so much. I would hate to see my carbon debt every time I fire that creature up. It puts more crap into the environment than a Chinese toy factory. But I love the food that comes off those well seasoned girds. So, sorry nanuk. Anyone out there have any spare carbon credits I could borrow??

Hanging Out

Everyone is just hanging out today...

Yukon is hanging out



Austrella is chilling



The Boss bird is hanging out



Even the clouds are just hanging around...


Hope you all are hanging out too...

Thanks Jin

Jin really caught the spirit o' Phos - check out her incredible edible baking skills at Jintrinsique

She has been a favorite stop for Bloggers in search of mirth, madness, and food porn for quite some time. As I have said in the past, there is a lot of talent out there and it is great to see everyone sharing the love!!

Happy weekend. I need to get a box of those most excellent Phos cookies to hand out to people that piss me off so they can EAT ME!!

Thanks again Jin - you are the best!!!!

Fall

Hard to believe Fall is here already. Back in Wisconsin it is marked by the changing of the leaves, here in Arizona by a sudden spike in motor-homes bearing Midwestern plates. The mornings are very cool and the evenings pleasant.

Fall had always been my favorite time of year. Nothing like floating lazily out on a mirror calm lake teasing the fish while surrounded by the bright colors of Autumn. A bit of a nip in the air, deer hunting right around the corner - not too shabby.

Happy Weekend!!

The Scroll

Been reading On the Road: The Original Scroll, by Jack Kerouac - it is a mad, mad book that makes me want to hit the road myself. This is a book that for better or worse defined a generation of Beats. Jack was made the defacto king of the Beats, thought that wasn't his intent, he wanted to portray the mood in the 40s and pen a story about a search for something, "IT" as he calls it, perhaps searching for a lost father or who knows and getting some kicks along the way. If you have never read anything by Kerouac, Ginsberg, Ferlinghetti, or Tom Wolf you need to get you to the library and read the notes they laid down. What an exciting time to be alive. I long to hit the road myself after reading the small part of the book I read, talk to the people, all the people and get into what ever they have going on. What excitement.

Well, back to this most awesome tome!!

Happy Lambaversary!

First I want to wish Little Lamb the happiest birthday and wonderful anniversary...

Second, sorry about the cake LL...





New rule: Never leave Phos unattended in the kitchen

Rainy Day Phos

The clouds rolled in last night and we got rain throughout the night and into the morning.


It has been threatening all day - we have a T-Storm watch in effect right now. I hope we can coax some more rain out of this Low, but that remains to be seen.


The high point of the day was a trip to the dump. We had some bulk rubbish to get rid of and hauled it to the lot next tot the El Mirage fire department. The city had the site all set up so you could queue up and then dump your trash. It was quite a production and went very smoothly. Despite the large number of trucks (we were one of the few who pulled up in a minivan) we got through in good time.

The best part is that afterwards we got to go to Chen Wok for lunch and talked with one of the owners. He shared some of their moon cake with us and explained the history behind them - it was a lot of fun.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!!!

Trouble a Brewin'

There are several signs of trouble around the Tiny House. Hazy skies followed by clouds means there's a storm a-comin', Yukon high-tailing it means he has just done something you don't want to know about, and when Mrs. Phos uses all three of my names when calling me.

Today we have clouds moving in, meaning there's a storm on the way - more like we'd expect in the winter, a low of the SoCal coast bring rain in to the Valley of the Smudge.

The other day I captured the picture of Yukon High-tailing it through the backyard. I think he was just excited to be outside. It has been cooler so he is getting a lot more peppy.

Anyway, it is weekend and I plan on sleeping...a lot. I'll be checking on all of you as the weekend goes on - oh, more good news, there are rumblings that nanuk may be making a comeback tour soon. He has been lost in the wilds of N. Canada, and I do mean North. It will be nice to have him back again.

You all have a good one!!

Vipers in the Mist

High-tailin'

Another Sign of Trouble -Austrella Fed up With Picture Taking

Cooling Off

Been cooling down here and I been chillin' myself. There really hasn't been anything earth shaking here at the Tiny House, just looking forward to the weekend. Sleeping in, grilling, and maybe working on the bottle of Shiraz in the fridge.

Stew tonight, great way to polish off the leftover beef from the burritos I made the other night. Still not really stew or chili weather, but I like both so I make it whenever the mood strikes and I have stuff in the fridge that needs to be used soon.

Same old stuff in the news. Most of it doesn't bear repeating, except I want to beat the 19 year old sexually confused kid crying for Britney Spears on YouTube with a Louisville slugger. A wood one, I love the sound and feel of the wood striking the target, the aluminum bats just aren't the same.

Anyway, I will try to be more creative tomorrow. You all have a good HNT and an even better Pantsless Friday.

Taming the Urban Jungle

We are having trouble with the spread of the Roof Rat in Phoenix, and I was wondering could be done to stem the tide. How does one turn the rat from a citrus gnawing problem into an economic windfall, and then it came to me – Urban Hunting. This is just a spinoff of the Urban Fishing program and would be licensed in the same fashion. Think of the politicians dancing with glee, a new fee - a new road into the taxpayer’s pocket as well as another layer of bureaucracy! Then there is the rat itself. Hunting would limit the population, provide a new source of protein for cash strapped homeowners, and maybe even a new line of Fall fashions.

There would have to be a name change to avoid the stigma of rat products of course. The meat could be marketed as “Orange Roofy” combining the part of the original name with the rat’s favorite food . The pelts can be marketed as “Phoenix Mink” for use in coats and hats. Even PETA could not object to offing a few rats in the name of fashion!

I’ll even get it started:

Braised Orange Roofy

4 Medium roofies

1 cup of orange juice

Salt and pepper

Skin and clean the Roofies, soak in whole milk over night to remove any gamey taste. Place Roofies in a heavy pan with a tight fitting lid. Salt and pepper meat to taste and pour juice over meat. Place lid on pan and place in oven. Set temp at 250 and braise for 1 hour before checking tenderness.

So good hunting and please pass me another helping of that delicious Roofy!!

Another "Weakend"

Some weekends it might be best to have just gone to work I think, This was one of those. Apparently I am the only one dissatisfied with Tiny House, ergo there aren't going to be any changes in the status quo. I guess that is ok, it is easy to do nothing - I am a natural at lying about so it should please me to no end. Ah well.

We did have a turn in the weather, no rain, just a lot of threatening clouds. It did make for some pretty skies and a nervous bird, but beyond that it brought a rather welcome drop in the temperatures as well as some photo opportunities. Eventually I am going to have to stray from my own backyard to take some pictures as I feel I am trapping you into the third or fourth showing of the slide show from the cruise we were on in 1964 (never happened, I was a youngster in 1964, but you get my drift). I used to dread my father puling the slide projector out, though perhaps not as much as the guests. It was kind of an obligatory thing back then - we suffered through a vacation and by god out guests were going to come along.

Any rate, hope you all had a good weekend and we'll see you later!!

KIll Them and Then Take Their Stuff

Katy (DAK) caught me red handed (no pun intended) – I am a crappy commie camera collector. Truth be told I didn’t even realize it was happening. Mrs. Phos doesn’t understand, we are back to the one fishing pole concept, but there is something about the soft focus manual setting quirky photos that really touch something in me. Maybe it is my astigmatism - the camera actually sees the world the way I do. Perhaps it is the potential for some really artsy photos. Whatever the deal is I own two Chinese Holgas, one Russian Lomo LC-A+, ordered a Lubitel 166 from the Ukraine, and have a bid in on three old Russian Lomo Smena-8M 35mm cameras.

The Ironic part is a spent a good part of my adult life trying to figure out ways to kill commies, lots of them in one fell swoop with rather large weapons. How times have changed.

At any rate, I enjoy the best the commie camera makers have to offer and the pictures will appear from time to time, so please forgive the grainy slightly out of focus KGB quality shots – don’t think of them as crappy snapshots taken by a deranged Parkinson’s patient on a trampoline, but rather as art.

The Holgas. One I use for black and white, the other is loaded with color film; Mrs. Phos finds this humorous...

My Lomo LC-A+

One Thing From China That Won't Hurt You...

Despite the latest flap over poisonous Chinese products, the Holga Camera remains safe to use - I think. Maybe a little radiation, but no more than your average 10 or 12 x-rays in a row would produce.

This is a crappy plastic camera from stem to stern. Even the lens is plastic, which accounts for the soft focus. Add to that random light leaks and you have the essence of the Holga. They are cheap, so I bought two, one for color and the other for black and white. They use 120 film and I use rubber bands and electrical tape to secure the back and dampen the light leaks to a degree. It may sound like a lot of trouble to go through, but it is a fun little camera. It has a bulb setting so you can hold the shutter open indefinitely, and it is easy to use for double exposures as it will take a picture every time you push the lever whether you have advanced the film or not. There is also a hot shoe for an external flash. Interestingly enough the camera takes some very sharp photos with the flash

I have added three pictures taken with the Holga as examples. Two of a static dispaly F-4, one in black and white, one in color and one night shot to demonstrate the low light capabitities.

The final picture I spotted when on the way home - a fluffy lost Little Lamb cloud, for Little Lamb.

It's So Quiet

Mrs. Phos is off helping with parent training at the school and I have been left to my own devices. When I was a teenager without supervision, this usually meant fire or some kind of an experiment involving caustic chemicals and the local gopher population. I have mellowed some so I don't do any of the exciting stuff any longer.

I made a frozen pizza - I don't like to go to great lengths if I am just cooking for myself, and shared a bit with the pups. I played with a new toy that came today; a medium format camera. I have this idea of taking some landscape pictures and thought the used Pentax 645 might be just the ticket. So far I have figured out how to load the film - it will take some getting used to before I tackle the Grand Canyon.

I'll probably read some more of "On the Road." It is very interesting so far, pretty much a narrative on the making of the novel. I enjoy getting a behind the scenes look at the actual process, getting to know the author a bit. All that just adds to the enjoyment of the book.

Well, you all are probably fast asleep by now, afraid the life o' Phos is pretty humdrum. The only half-way exciting thing is we're going out to dinner tomorrow night with a friend form EL Mirage. Haven't seen him in a while, so that will be nice.

You all have a stupendous evening and an even better Wednesday!!

Why Bin Laden Can’t Score With the Ladies…

Ok first it was No Play for Mr. Gray - he has taken care of that with a little “Just for Men”. He cuts quite the manly figure with the black beard and all, but now there’s new evidence he is impotent. Seems the Virgins want to be popped by a virile man, not Osama Bin Limpdick. I can’t blame them for that. He could get Enzite, but I don’t think the company delivers to caves, or four star hotels in Islamabad, whichever place he is staying. He could try an implant or a splint. Either way there are going to be a lot of disappointed little boys and goats out there…

Quiet weekend. Picked up the “Original Scroll” as suggested by TKK. I read the original version of “On the Road” a while back so it will be interesting to compare this unexpurgated release and see what it be like. Kerouac wields a mighty pen – if you haven’t partaken, I would encourage you to do so.

Looks as though the Monsoon season is fading into history for us, unfortunately we never saw much rain. It will be a while before the winter rains. Hopefully that will bring some moisture to the valley. I am a worrier and tend to worry that Global Warming may be the last straw for this area. There are far more people than the land is able to support. I think about leaving often, but that isn’t an option.

Hope you all had a great weekend!!

The Princess

I am posting these pictures in case you have never seen a princess before. Austrella is the princess of pillows and the queen of all she surveys. I did take her to obedience school, but I think I was the one that did the learning, not her. I am not a totally terrible parent, I have drawn the line on a futon in the computer room, the only room in the house that doesn't have something for her to lie on while she surveys her queendom.

Finally, His Royal Highness Yukon, hiding out until I put the camera away...

Mostly Muttering to Myself

I had started to come up with come up with something really clever (for me) and then the thought simply vanished. I think it was kind of funny, too. Oh well.

It is nice to see thugism has crept into tennis. Yet another black eye for the US when Serena stated during an interview that her opponent Justine Henan won because of a few “lucky shots.” So it wasn’t the fact she didn’t play well, it is that the other player was lucky. No sportsmanship award for Serena I am afraid. With those social skills I have to wonder if she was raised in a closet.

Mrs Phos finished up her Masters this week. Quiet an accomplishment, but then she is one of the smartest people I know. She does a great job as a teacher and after living with me is a shoe-in for sainthood.

Starting to gear up for Oktoberfest. We didn’t have it last year, but it is back by popular demand. Still have to come up with a menu, but bratwurst and schwenk steaks are definitely on the menu – and you have to have knodels!!

I am trying to learn Spanish in my car for when Mexico annexes Arizona. I am going along with the lessons on CD, but I don’t know how valuable they’ll be unless I suddenly develop a burning need to know if someone’s children are in school. The same thing happened with the Berlitz German tapes – how often would I ever need the phrase “I am obviously the Mayor of the town?”

Hurricane Henrietta dumped on Mexico and Central America and is now pushing some clouds our way. No rain as yet, but the front passing through has knocked the temperature down a bit. It is terrible that people had to suffer because of Henrietta, but I do appreciate the chance for some precip.

The Clouds Roll In

The Pack on the Hunt

El Mirage

Some pictures from the older part of town...

What Ails You??

I was looking for some vitamins and hadn’t been down that aisle in some time. I was amazed at the number of cures that were offered. Everything form increased bust size and increased performance in the bedroom to improved memory and eyesight. There were remedies for problems I didn’t; even know existed; another example of the industry driving the train. The prize for the biggest whore in the vitamin world has to be One-a-day, the vitamin I used to take as a kid. One-a-day panders to every health fad that has come along - weight loss One-a-Day, low-carb One-a-Day, One-a-day limp dick formula, et al. Then there are candy flavored vitamins inviting kids to eat Wilma, and in fact since they’re gummies they have to be harmless! Why not gobble down the entire jar while mom isn’t looking? There are big pills, small pills, lotions, creams, and powders. One doesn’t have to wait for the snake oil salesmen to roll into town with his wagon and smooth patter, everything is right there on the shelf.

If that isn’t enough, TV bombards viewers with the promise of instant weight loss (we couldn’t say it on TV if it wasn’t true), roll-ons to alleviate headaches, “pencil sharpeners” AKA male enhancement products, and lotions that miraculously grow or get rid hair depending. These ads jam the airwaves and fill up our e-mail boxes with promises of a better life, longer lasting erections and multiple orgasms. Remember if you are sporting wood for more than four hours to call a doctor, or Cherry, she’ d like to know.

The fact of the matter is almost without exception even the pills your doctor prescribes don’t cure anything. They merely stave off problems or bring relief for symptoms. The idea is to buy time for your body to heal itself. There is no miracle pill for weight loss, unless you figure in the pounds your wallet or purse will shed in purchasing these products, there isn’t anything that is going to make you irresistible to women or turn you from a hamster dick to a stallion.

All that being said the number of bottles on the shelves and the plethora of products would seem to indicate that someone – lots of someones in fact, are buying into these promises. As bogus as these all are, If anyone does come across something that can actually grow hair or shed pounds while sleeping, please let me know.

Deserted

I yak about the desert incessantly, thought it was time I show you what it looks like...





I managed to get out before the day got too hot, and we had enough rain to knock some of the dust and dirt out of the air so the sky was fairly clear. I'll try to post more like these as the weather cools - probably around October, the way things have been going!!!

All Show and No Go

We have been surrounded by storms, but so far haven't seen a lick of rain. Monsoons will soon be over and it would be nice to have just a bit more here in the West Valley...


Taken later this evening...