Monday, November 30, 2009

Cooking with Max: The Kinder, Gentler Technique

It is never too early to get the kids into the kitchen. Besides great together time you'll be passing on life skills to make things easier when they are out on their own. Being able to cook and feed yourself is paramount in the fight for survival. The kids might even like cooking enough to wind up with their own high end restaurant, not bad work if you can get it...

Friday, November 27, 2009

Cookin' Turkey With Phos

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

In Canada Thanksgiving is held as an actual end of harvest fest, here it is the beginning of the shopping season. Different countries, different motivations. Either way it is still fun to draw on Uncle Phil's face with permanent marker after he falls into a tryptophan induced sleep watching football.

In America the day did start out as an end to the harvest celebration. Squanto, much to his regret later, helped whitey figure out how to farm in the new world, so the pilgrims survived. Well some of them anyway. For the Native Americans it was kind of a last meal, as the pilgrims and subsequent generations of interlopers decided the land would be better off without the original owners. To be fair the diseases the Eurotrash brought with them did a lot of the work.

And now here we are, stuffing ourselves and preparing to trample our fellow countrymen in a Wal-Mart doorway trying to get to the $500 flat screen first. Personally I am looking forward to some turkey, some quality family time, and leave the shopping to the mall rats and the football to the jockstraps. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving: Don't Panic

Mother-in-law at the door, the one that thinks her child married beneath her, and as icing on the cake it looks as though Armageddon is about to come off in the kitchen? Here are a few steps to ease the holiday angst.

1. Drink lots of beer

2. Don’t drink? Start.

3. Never let the in-laws see any weakness; they’ll dive on it like vultures on a deer carcass.

4. If all else fails, see step 1.

In the Air Force pilots have an emergency check list, so should every cook.

Step1: Put out the fire. One can never have enough fire extinguishers in the kitchen

Step 2: Stop the bleeding; a chart with all the pressure points on it posted prominently in the kitchen can be a life saver

Step 3: What’s left of the food? Any salvageable? Tough luck.

Step4: Check the "Internets" for local restaurants that are open on the holiday. Send out for the food and then claim you cooked it all. Note: The firemen parading through the house with axes and hoses may make it tough for the kin to believe there has been no catastrophe; tell the relatives the firefighters just came for your gravy recipe.

Here’s hoping everyone has a great (fire free) Thanksgiving!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Dining with Buddhists

Though not strictly required, vegetarianism is encouraged among many Buddhists, kind of a conundrum for a strict omnivore. The main indication that we are meant to eat more than just leafy greens is that our dentition allows us to eat across the broad spectrum of food, a very handy survival ploy. All that being said, dining with Buddhists is very satisfying and the vegetable dishes are extraordinary. Unlike preppy vegans they don’t make the vegetables look as though they are some sort of meat. As one of the diners put it, Tofurkies and the like are for beginners.

The dinner was typical of a Chinese family, rice, stir fried vegetables, soup, and a main course that was similar to sweet and sour pork, but had different types of melon vice the pineapple found in the tourist version and the sauce wasn’t as overpoweringly sweet. There was also some fried pumpkin.

The soup was excellent a combination of button and black mushrooms, vegetable broth, a small ear of corn in each bowl, and cabbage. This soup can be highly recommended for any vegetarian still craving meat, as the black mushroom could easily be mistaken for small pieces of pork.

Everyone sat and talked quietly while passing plates heaped with the delicious repast. There were quite a few diners, ergo several tables were set, the Master dining right along with the rest. There is a beautiful sing-song quality to the Chinese language and this melodic discourse was only interrupted from time to time with s burst of English for the benefit of the non-Chinese guests, of which there were few.

As with everything nice there has to be an end and the meal drew to a close. Everything was perfect, the fellowship, the fumbling with the chopsticks, and the new dishes presented. These are the new experiences all humans should seek out and embrace - different cultures, life styles, customs, and the food associated with them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Boobs make the world go 'round

Most people either have breasts or know someone that does. I've explained how the world works before but to reiterate: girl has breasts, boy wants breasts, gets job and buys stuff to impress girl, who eventually caves and lets boy get to second base. Before you know it they are picking out kitchen curtains and buying a crib for the one on the way. I therefore posit that breasts do indeed make the world go 'round, or at the very least drive the world economy.

Since breasts are so important I also believe it is our sworn duty to protect them by all means necessary, ergo I am posting this video link By watching this lively Youtube video and increasing its hit count you strike a blow for healthy breasts everywhere. Hard to beat that.

Friday, November 13, 2009


Lots of clouds, been passing through all day. They could at least have the decency to rain a bit on their way through!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Happy Armistice Day! I can remember having to face East at 11 a.m. on this day and maintain a moment of silence - quite a trick for a grade schooler. As with saying the Pledge of Allegiance I knew I had to do what I was doing but no one explained why. I did not know that between 1914-1917 people were3 dying in the war to end all wars so that I had the freedom to go to school, my family had the freedom to live as the chose, and we could all aspire to whatever heights we wanted.

Of course The Great War didn't end all war, simply set the stage for a second round, this time with a genocidal maniac. It almost seems as though man's urge to fight is genetic and every generation winds up sacrificing their best and brightest to forward some cause a few geezers in the capitol feel is worth committing the younger generation to, making damn sure their kids are exempt. So the wars had to be numbered WW I and WW II and eventually folks realized this was never going to end, so Armistice Day was changed to Veteran's Day to commemorate all the lives lost in service of the country, those who've served, and those who still serve.

Particularly poignant this year when some Islamobastard decided to praise allah by killing 13 of his fellow soldiers. As long as there are people such as him in the world, the fighting will never end.

hPlede Alligene Ikew I had to coply, ut I din' knw whyI was fac