Thanksgiving: Don't Panic

Mother-in-law at the door, the one that thinks her child married beneath her, and as icing on the cake it looks as though Armageddon is about to come off in the kitchen? Here are a few steps to ease the holiday angst.

1. Drink lots of beer

2. Don’t drink? Start.

3. Never let the in-laws see any weakness; they’ll dive on it like vultures on a deer carcass.

4. If all else fails, see step 1.

In the Air Force pilots have an emergency check list, so should every cook.

Step1: Put out the fire. One can never have enough fire extinguishers in the kitchen

Step 2: Stop the bleeding; a chart with all the pressure points on it posted prominently in the kitchen can be a life saver

Step 3: What’s left of the food? Any salvageable? Tough luck.

Step4: Check the "Internets" for local restaurants that are open on the holiday. Send out for the food and then claim you cooked it all. Note: The firemen parading through the house with axes and hoses may make it tough for the kin to believe there has been no catastrophe; tell the relatives the firefighters just came for your gravy recipe.

Here’s hoping everyone has a great (fire free) Thanksgiving!!