Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving: Don't Panic

Mother-in-law at the door, the one that thinks her child married beneath her, and as icing on the cake it looks as though Armageddon is about to come off in the kitchen? Here are a few steps to ease the holiday angst.

1. Drink lots of beer

2. Don’t drink? Start.

3. Never let the in-laws see any weakness; they’ll dive on it like vultures on a deer carcass.

4. If all else fails, see step 1.

In the Air Force pilots have an emergency check list, so should every cook.

Step1: Put out the fire. One can never have enough fire extinguishers in the kitchen

Step 2: Stop the bleeding; a chart with all the pressure points on it posted prominently in the kitchen can be a life saver

Step 3: What’s left of the food? Any salvageable? Tough luck.

Step4: Check the "Internets" for local restaurants that are open on the holiday. Send out for the food and then claim you cooked it all. Note: The firemen parading through the house with axes and hoses may make it tough for the kin to believe there has been no catastrophe; tell the relatives the firefighters just came for your gravy recipe.

Here’s hoping everyone has a great (fire free) Thanksgiving!!

9 Comments:

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

Happy TG matey! :)

XOXOXOX
Keshi.

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger dianne said...

Happy Thanksgiving Phossy dear, to you and your family and thanks for the helpful advice. :) xoxoxo ♡

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Eternally Curious said...

LOL, Phos! I KNOW you are better (far better) in the kitchen than that! You're just hoping the firemen will carry your in-laws out, right?

Happy Turkey Day, Phos!

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger /t. said...

HA HAH HAHA AHA HA AHA HA HA HAHA HA HAHA HA AHA AHA HA HA AHA HAHA AH AHA HA HAHA AH AHA HA HAHA AHA HAHA AHA HAH HA AHA HA AHA HAHA HAH AHA AHA HA HA AHA HA AHA HAHA AHA HA AHA HA AHA AH AH HAH HA AHAH HA HAHA AHA AHA HA AHA AHA HA HA AHAH AHA AHA AHA

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, PHOS

/t.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger foam said...

happy thanksgiving, phos!
i'm going to the in-laws tomorrow ..
i might start drinking right now.
cheers!
:)

 
At 4:11 AM, Blogger Jack K. said...

Bwahahahahaha!!

Have a very happy Thanksgiving.

Please continue to spread the joy and laughter.

 
At 4:13 AM, Blogger Jack K. said...

Now, let's see? Where is that damned corkscrew.

Wait, is that a wine bottle with a screw cap? Yes. The day is not lost.

 
At 5:58 AM, Blogger Helene said...

hehehe I did send my spouse to the liquor store last night in a bit of a panic! lmao

Hope you have a pain free day... self medicated or otherwish! =p

 
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