Taming the Urban Jungle

We are having trouble with the spread of the Roof Rat in Phoenix, and I was wondering could be done to stem the tide. How does one turn the rat from a citrus gnawing problem into an economic windfall, and then it came to me – Urban Hunting. This is just a spinoff of the Urban Fishing program and would be licensed in the same fashion. Think of the politicians dancing with glee, a new fee - a new road into the taxpayer’s pocket as well as another layer of bureaucracy! Then there is the rat itself. Hunting would limit the population, provide a new source of protein for cash strapped homeowners, and maybe even a new line of Fall fashions.

There would have to be a name change to avoid the stigma of rat products of course. The meat could be marketed as “Orange Roofy” combining the part of the original name with the rat’s favorite food . The pelts can be marketed as “Phoenix Mink” for use in coats and hats. Even PETA could not object to offing a few rats in the name of fashion!

I’ll even get it started:

Braised Orange Roofy

4 Medium roofies

1 cup of orange juice

Salt and pepper

Skin and clean the Roofies, soak in whole milk over night to remove any gamey taste. Place Roofies in a heavy pan with a tight fitting lid. Salt and pepper meat to taste and pour juice over meat. Place lid on pan and place in oven. Set temp at 250 and braise for 1 hour before checking tenderness.

So good hunting and please pass me another helping of that delicious Roofy!!