Monday, September 17, 2007

Taming the Urban Jungle

We are having trouble with the spread of the Roof Rat in Phoenix, and I was wondering could be done to stem the tide. How does one turn the rat from a citrus gnawing problem into an economic windfall, and then it came to me – Urban Hunting. This is just a spinoff of the Urban Fishing program and would be licensed in the same fashion. Think of the politicians dancing with glee, a new fee - a new road into the taxpayer’s pocket as well as another layer of bureaucracy! Then there is the rat itself. Hunting would limit the population, provide a new source of protein for cash strapped homeowners, and maybe even a new line of Fall fashions.

There would have to be a name change to avoid the stigma of rat products of course. The meat could be marketed as “Orange Roofy” combining the part of the original name with the rat’s favorite food . The pelts can be marketed as “Phoenix Mink” for use in coats and hats. Even PETA could not object to offing a few rats in the name of fashion!

I’ll even get it started:

Braised Orange Roofy

4 Medium roofies

1 cup of orange juice

Salt and pepper

Skin and clean the Roofies, soak in whole milk over night to remove any gamey taste. Place Roofies in a heavy pan with a tight fitting lid. Salt and pepper meat to taste and pour juice over meat. Place lid on pan and place in oven. Set temp at 250 and braise for 1 hour before checking tenderness.

So good hunting and please pass me another helping of that delicious Roofy!!

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23 Comments:

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Sounds good!

And you could organize something like an "Fingerlicking Roofie Monday" at the local Pub.
Hunters stand together and enjoy a great public event.

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

DM: Great promotional idea!! We could have Friday Roofy Fries's instead of Fish Fries too... The marketing possibilities are endless!!

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger /t. said...

you're
onto something
with this one, phos

i can see possibilities for a resurgence in hobby taxidermy with stuffed rat heads, red glass eyes, mounted on nice plaques and gracing the walls of family rooms everywhere

/t.

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

/t. Rats with those plastic googley eyes, I am excited!! Might even have a RATMASTER's derby...

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger leelee said...

gross

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

leelee: Give rat a chance!!

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

Get cats after the rats.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Fuff said...

Ferrets are far more effective than poison apparently. We have a bad problem here with rats. Wot's a roof rat?

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger leelee said...

Unfortunately..I can relate...we have Norwegian Roof Rats here in South Florida as well. There is a never ending supply of mangoes and citrus to keep them very happy and well fed.

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

ll: Need to have some big cats...

fuff: roof rats thrive on citrus and live in attics if they can find a way in.

leelee: I expect they may be the same kind of rat, or closely related...

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger SJ said...

When you patent the idea and become a billionaire don't forget us loyal readers :)

 
At 1:15 AM, Blogger Lexcen said...

I'm surprised nobody has offered a recipe for rat-a-toulle.

 
At 6:15 AM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

ewww,
we have the same recipe here
the mystery meat
Canadian Geese

 
At 6:46 AM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

CATTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS best to hunt rats and you don't have to clean up much after

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger Chickie said...

Um, I'll take a bite after I see you take one.

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger Hammer said...

Excellent. Some say they taste like chicken :)

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Ruela said...

Little Jerry where it is Tom? ;)

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger KB said...

Hmmmmm, not too sure it would take off..........go and see that movie "Rat-a-too-e" (can't spell it for real!) It's a great movie and you might become sympathetic to them!

On the other hand, if I had rats in me roof, I'd be doing whatever I could to kill them - what about the Pied Piper thing???? Have you got a recorder or flute?

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

no kitty or ratty recipes from me ok! :)

Keshi.

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Been out for a bit working hard in Phos's Test Kitchen trying to come up with new ways to cook roofy. So far ground-roofy is the best, though when made into hamburgers tastes suspiciously like MacDonald's...

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger /t. said...

i knew it

i was suspicious
last time i ate there...

cows don't have tails like that!

/t.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

Phos, my neighborhood is overrun with feral cats. I could lure some into a box and ship them to you, if you want.

Good luck getting rid of those bastards once they've tasted Roofies. Still, it might be slightly less dangerous than letting Arizonans with guns discharge firearms within city limits.

 
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