Monday, April 02, 2007

The Trickey part is making it through the Line


Mr. Richard Reid, terrorist wanna be and jackass extraordinaire didn’t realize he was creating a dance craze. He invented the dance known as the "911 Hop" and much to my delight it is still popular in airports around the world, long lines of people hopping up and down trying to remove their shoes. I guess we are lucky Reid wasn’t trying to light his pants, though I suspect it is only a matter of time where one of those bastards figures out the "nuclear pants bomb".

Aside from playing a quick round of twister in he security line and having my privacy rights pushed to the max, the flight was really great. Ol’ Phos isn’t a big flier, ironic considering the 20 years in the Air Force. I had a good time, even made a hand puppet (Mr. McPukesalot) so I could amuse Mrs. Phos with an in-flight puppet show. I think she enjoyed the show despite the fact she took my puppet away and wouldn’t give it back. I told the flight attendant that Mrs. Phos wouldn’t give my puppet back and to make her, but the attendant just told me she would get me some more puppet making materials - but she was lying ‘cause she never did.
You all have a friendly skies kind of day!!

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16 Comments:

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Hammer said...

I hate flying because the seats make me a pretzel. The bag is a great idea.

I think I'll put a turban on mine and give him a middle eastern accent...hmm maybe not

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

I always wear "slip on" shoes to the airport...
I save the dancing for later :)

I think we would have put on quite a puppet show if we had been together on the plane- unless Mrs. Phos took both of our baggies!

:)

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger /t. said...

exploding pants
&
improvised hand puppets

you're a regular mcgiver, phos

/t.

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

It's nice to see you back. I go to Texas on vacation in May. I'm flying.

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Fuff said...

Flying is rubbish but the free booze is always a good thing (unless flying with AA who charge for theirs).

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger Stacey said...

You should have moved on to shadow puppets. Everyone loves shadow puppets, right?

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

mhh puppet show I have to remember that when I fly again (houston in may) might be more fun than just reading and listing to my MP3 player

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Chickie said...

I know what I'm doing with the next puke bag that I get!

 
At 10:05 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

WB Phos..I've been missin ya..

Keshi.

 
At 6:47 AM, Blogger Gnat of Glass said...

Blow up the bag like a ballon and pop it, that goes a long way.


Gnat.
.

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

hammer: I was packed in pretty tight. I used to try for the emergency door rows becasue there is more leg room, but folks have caught on and those seats fill up fast.

Mayden: I actually had a par of slip ons, but I got rid of them when I figured I wouldn’t be flying again. Silly me. I thought maybe TSA would let the shoes alone now that they were fixated on fluids. The sad thing is they are lagging behind the terror-bastards and instead fo anticipating the next move they are playing the terrorists game.

/t.: I wish I could have created more leg room with a piece of string and an old gun wrapper...

LL: I am still out in sunny N California, but have been able to log n a little Blog time. Have fun in Texas!! What part of Texas are you visiting??

fuff: As long as the pilot isn’t taking advantage of the free booze!!

stacey: Hi stacey! Shadow puppets would work, they have that little reading light and all, but they don’t have the impact of a barf-bag puppet.

DAK: I am thinking of trying to get the Olympic committee to feature “annoying Mrs. Phos” as a demonstration sport for the next games. I really enjoy it!!

chickie: If the world hands you puke bags, make puppets, that is what I always say.

Keshi: Miss you too! I am going to try to do some visiting here this afternoon. I have been helping around the house to take some pressure off my son and his wife. Our grandson has been welded to his granny’s arms since we got here.

Gnat: I did entertain the folks in front of us, but I don’t think they found it very funny. Maybe popping him would have gotten a better reaction!!

 
At 11:05 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

I can u'stand that awww...

Keshi.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger Eternally Curious said...

She didn't bring you more?
Spoil sport...

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Timmy said...

How come I never end up sitting to anyone interesting on planes? Usually it's just some long-winded guy who wants to tell me about his arthritis or something. I've found that if you tell a racist or extremely distasteful joke in the first 5 minutes of the flight, you'll most likely get some peace and quiet for the rest of the flight.
Just saying...

 
At 1:12 AM, Blogger KB said...

I'd love to be amused with a sick-bag puppet show!!! Wish there were MORE of you on aeroplanes!! hahaha

Well, perhaps I can understand Mrs Phos's 'fun-wrecking' after being married to you for years.......

 
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