Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Lively Theory and One Very Dead Bunny


Fun and Sun in the Faaaaaaaaar West or Plants Are Our Friends

I went on a field trip with the Geography department and we set out on the Fun and Frolic in the Old West Tour. We had authorities on various subjects that would add to the professors’ description of the areas we stopped to examine. One of the guys was a budding botanist, no pun intended, and he was the keeper of the “Plants of the West” book. He would take his turn and point out the different plants and tell us a little about each one. The Indians (AKA Native Americans) used about every plant we came across according to his description. The funny part was the statement “The Indians smoked this during ceremonial rites”. This phrase followed nearly 45% of the plant descriptions, leading me to come up with new theory on the highly mobile tribes of the plains.

I can see the village, women tending gardens, scraping hides, making pemmican and watching the babies while the boys gathered ’round the old fire to swap hunting tales and imbibe. “What’re we gonna smoke today”? “Spotted Horse found this down by the creek, looks like it is dry enough to try, who has the pipe”?

So my theory is that the Indians migrated, not to follow the buffalo as is the current thought, but rather they were forced to move because they smoked everything there was to smoke where they had camped, and moved on in search of new herbage.

I am going to try for a grant to pursue this someday…


Easter is upon us

Someone sent me a picture of a Black Lab eating a bunny with the caption "Easter has been Canceled". I didn't post the picture because it was a bit graphic and I don't want to run into the problems chicke did when she went for a "family" rating on her site and was denied. I was, however, inpsired to write a poem about the picture...

There’s a dead Bunny in the Woodpile

By Phos

A dead bunny is funny

his blood all sticky and runny

His bunny body mushed

Bunny head crushed

Thoroughly beaten

Partially eaten

A Dead Bunny is funny…


Feel free to share with your friends!!

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15 Comments:

At 6:06 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

Phos that dead bunny verse had me startled!

:)
Keshi.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger Damsel Underdressed said...

Hahahahaha! Phos! You should write children's books!

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

Ok , give me a sec to imagine that photo!

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger Becky said...

You hopped around with that post didn't ya!? That poem is deep! It moved me man.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

you meany how can you write a poem about the bunny - I mean if it was a sad poem I'd understand...

 
At 6:14 AM, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Haha! Probably most of the buffalos starved because there was no gras to eat anymore! Thanks Phos, I think it's very important that finally someone brings the real truth on the table. Bad bad indians!

Someone sent me the picture with the dog and the bunny . But without the funny poem. You could tell it to little garlic phos as a good night story. Bet he loves it as well ;)

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger /t. said...

family rating?

you want one, phos?

ok -- you're rated 'family'

hey, why not? who are these raters anyway? self-appointed guardians of all that is family in their view -- a bit like awards, eh, another useless benchmark -- let's all get together and pat one another on the back, or, i'll do yours if you do mine -- ooh ooh baby!

raters, awarders, scammers... they all get their power from us -- because we give it to them -- do they really deserve it?

(funny poem!)

/t. ( missing the point, as usual :)

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

tkkerouac said...
PLEASE COME LEAVE YOUR BLOG NAME AND URL, IF YOU WOULD BE LIKE TO BE LINKED UNDER MOMTHEMINX.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Jewels said...

Didja smoke those herbs before writing that poem? LMAO!!!!!!

Phos, you're too funny! Gross, but funny. ;)

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Timmy said...

How exactly do you go about applying for a "family rating"? Just curious...

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

I thought the "Easter Has Been Cancelled" photo looked kind of photoshopped. Having seen an actual dead bunny, (thanks to a well-intentioned but hugely mistaken husky) I should know.

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger Chickie said...

Oh, I do like the poem!

Damn people and their rating systems. Always trying to keep a man down.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Keshi:Relax, take a breath – better already, eh? I thought it was hilarious. Maybe I should post the pic so you get a feeling for what inspired me. Just being silly, cruel, yes, but mostly silly. The real Easter bunny is ok and will bring the chocolate as usual.

DU: Good idea. Little buggers need to face up to reality eventually, might as well get it from me vice finding out about it on the playground.

tkk: The picture is making the rounds, it’ll wind up in your mailbox sooner or later.

becky: I was worried it might come off as I was trying to infuse a little culture to my little corner of the Blogsphere, but I think I dodged that bullet.

DM: DM, they weren’t bad – random smoking of various herbs wasn’t illegal back then, in fact it was encouraged. I have lots of other poems, I don’t want you guys to think I am just a one trick pony…

/t.:I’m not really in it for the ratings just wanted to see if I could get a rise out of chickie – seems to have worked. I think V Agent is probably rated S for Sophomoric.

Jewels:Thanks! Smoking is bad for the lungs – I can’t afford any more infirmities.
Timmy: “If you have to ask…” Actually, Timmy I think your blog relates to all mankind and everyone from cradle to grave should be hanging on your every word. Great insight on your part – never change Timmy, never change.
SL:No, I believe that was a genuine dead bunny. Now I don’t believe the dog necessarily killed it. Judging from the shape the creature was in I think the dog had just scavenged the bunny carcass.

chikie: I thought of you as I wrote that.

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

LOL Im glad.

Keshi.

 
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