Saturday, September 09, 2006

Religion and Snack Foods


I opened a bag of Rold Gold pretzels and there he was – the jesus pretzel, the pretzel who sacrificed himself to free all snack food. I had never seen his like and as tempted as I was to put him on E-bay (in the “there’s one born every minute” section) I felt it would smirch the dignity of the moment. I wasn’t going to eat the jesus pretzel, primarily because despite being a deity in its own right, there was an unwholesome air about the thing, sort of an unfinished snack abortion kind of vibe. This hardly dulls its majesty, however. I am thinking about charging admission to see the thing, after all I come from an area where people are stupid enough to line up to witness a patch of bark that bore an eerie resemblance to mama Mary – couldn’t see it myself, but then I was never good at those 3d hidden picture things and I probably wasn’t as reefered up as the adherents to the miracle.

Like all misbegotten, misshapen snacks I am afraid there was no choice but to lay the jesus pretzel to rest in the garbage. I am sure it will rise again and perhaps when you open a bag of Rold Golds it will be sitting there in all its glory. Or maybe they fixed the problem that was generating mutant pretzels on their snack food production line.

14 Comments:

At 10:14 PM, Anonymous katy said...

i don't see it

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Katy: Should have added that you can only see the image on the first Sunday after the 14th day of the lunar month (the nominal full moon) that falls on or after 21 March, otherwise it looks more like Elvis - the fat bloated dead on the toilet Elvis at that.

Actually it is just a bunch of little pretzles that clumped together during the manufacturing process. Only someone as bored as I would have even bothered to take the picture in the first place, much less posted it.

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger jin said...

LMAO!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

What would the wife do with you if you didn't spend so much of your time taking pics of food?

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Jin: She'd probably be busy tearing her hair out.

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger Eternally Curious said...

Jin: Personally? I think Mrs. Phos is relieved that he snaps food photos - keeps Phos and his camera away from her! Teeheehee!! (BTW Phos: I don't see it either - but then again I'm not really looking!) <|:))

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger L>T said...

hI! i saw use the term "yellow card" over at wallycrawlers blog.

Would you define that for me please?l

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

EC: Try rubbing your eyes really hard and then looking... Like I said it is just mutant snack food.

l>t: The yellow card is used to warn a player of an infraction in soccer. Some have carried that into the Blogsphere to warn posters they are treading on thin ice. I view the Blog as an open forum and feel that if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I won’t go back to a site that plays that game.

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

ROFL @jesus pretzel!

Good one mate :)

Keshi.

 
At 5:16 AM, Blogger Becky said...

At first when I saw this pic, I thought you just went a little nuts with the cheez whiz.

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Keshi: Snack foods need forgiveness too.

becky: People from Wisconsin don't eat Cheeze Whiz.

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger L>T said...

O.K. I get it & agree, whole hearted.

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Chickie said...

You should have eaten it. What if it possessed divine powers?

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger Sugarfoot said...

I couldn't see Jesus in your pretzel, but I'm sure the Virgin Mary was in your pizza...

 
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