Olympics Schmalypics

The Olympics –who gives a shit. Kwan quits – who gives a shit. As if there wasn’t enough jock crap on TV, now we have the Olympics. I thought it was once every four years, but it seems like they have it every year. Like “American Idol”, just when you think it is safe to watch FOX again, AI is back on. I think maybe sports would be more appealing if they did like the Aztecs and lop the heads off the losers. That would certainly improve the game and keep team owners from carrying millions of dollars of steroid enhanced gene-doped dead wood.

The whole thing may have meant more before we started using ringers. Just another thing the powers that be chose to take from the grasp of the common people (though they generously let us keep stock car racing which could be a special Olympic demonstration sport next year – yeehah!).

Maybe I am just being a little petty. I mean the Olympic committee blew off my idea of featuring baby seal clubbing in the Winter Olympics. It is a winter sport and think of the publicity for the Louisville Slugger company. Hell, we could make the Slugger the official bat of the Olympics. Even have a slogan – “Real men go for their wood”. No one takes me seriously so we’ll never hear the satisfying crunch of ash against a tender baby seal skull and the rich and famous will have to do without their seal fur jockstraps and whatever else the rich and famous wear that is enhanced by exploiting helpless baby animals.

Remember, people don’t kill baby seals, bats kill baby seals.