Could be Worse, Could be Raining...

I read a few Blogs last night and found the tone morose. I have therefore decided to spin a tale that as all Fairy Tales ends up happily ever after. You can tell it is a Fairy Tale as it starts out once upon a time, and has Ogres and evil step mothers – the whole shebang. I hope it cheers everyone up because the sad crap is really starting to bum me out.

Once upon a time, there was a young noble; his name is of no consequence to this story, but the entire world was laid out at his feet. He frittered his opportunities away one after another until he brought a terrible curse upon himself. The curse was to labor in the lowliest of taverns, washing and cleaning and could only be undone when he opened his eyes and accepted what life really had to offer. The tavern was owned by a particularly nasty Ogre who had married an evil step-mother from another tale. There was a fairy godmother chained to the stove in the kitchen, and an old pirate working the bar that loved to tell tales of someone named Al Capone. The kitchen was nasty a dirty dark vile hole and despite the best efforts the young noble could only keep the filth at bay. This went on for many long years, until one day a fairy princess entered the tavern.

She was dusky and radiant, wed to the Ogre’s son, in fact. She was originally from the land of Teutonia where she lived with her sisters and lord and lady of the great castle.

The young noble, knave that he was dared asked the lovely princess if she had sister, where upon the fairy sang song of a lovely young Teutonian girl infatuated with a young lout of a prince and therefore out of this lowly kitchen drone’s grasp. The noble went back to his greasy sink fully of filthy dishes and realized there was indeed much he had missed.

Not many months had passed when once again the noble was visited by the Fairy. She bore glad tidings, and an opportunity to break the curse. “My young sister is sad as her prince turned into a lizard, a slimy good for nothing pus ridden reptile. She would meet you and know you better.”

The young noble opened his eyes for the first time and really saw things for what they were. When he met the young Teutonian girl, he embraced her and held her tight for the rest of his life. And they lived happily ever after…

Obligatory Moral:

The moral of the story is if you are confused about life, go clean the kitchen and everything will become clear, if not at least you have a clean kitchen.