Saturday, March 03, 2007

Could be Worse, Could be Raining...

I read a few Blogs last night and found the tone morose. I have therefore decided to spin a tale that as all Fairy Tales ends up happily ever after. You can tell it is a Fairy Tale as it starts out once upon a time, and has Ogres and evil step mothers – the whole shebang. I hope it cheers everyone up because the sad crap is really starting to bum me out.

Once upon a time, there was a young noble; his name is of no consequence to this story, but the entire world was laid out at his feet. He frittered his opportunities away one after another until he brought a terrible curse upon himself. The curse was to labor in the lowliest of taverns, washing and cleaning and could only be undone when he opened his eyes and accepted what life really had to offer. The tavern was owned by a particularly nasty Ogre who had married an evil step-mother from another tale. There was a fairy godmother chained to the stove in the kitchen, and an old pirate working the bar that loved to tell tales of someone named Al Capone. The kitchen was nasty a dirty dark vile hole and despite the best efforts the young noble could only keep the filth at bay. This went on for many long years, until one day a fairy princess entered the tavern.

She was dusky and radiant, wed to the Ogre’s son, in fact. She was originally from the land of Teutonia where she lived with her sisters and lord and lady of the great castle.

The young noble, knave that he was dared asked the lovely princess if she had sister, where upon the fairy sang song of a lovely young Teutonian girl infatuated with a young lout of a prince and therefore out of this lowly kitchen drone’s grasp. The noble went back to his greasy sink fully of filthy dishes and realized there was indeed much he had missed.

Not many months had passed when once again the noble was visited by the Fairy. She bore glad tidings, and an opportunity to break the curse. “My young sister is sad as her prince turned into a lizard, a slimy good for nothing pus ridden reptile. She would meet you and know you better.”

The young noble opened his eyes for the first time and really saw things for what they were. When he met the young Teutonian girl, he embraced her and held her tight for the rest of his life. And they lived happily ever after…

Obligatory Moral:

The moral of the story is if you are confused about life, go clean the kitchen and everything will become clear, if not at least you have a clean kitchen.

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19 Comments:

At 1:18 PM, Blogger /t. said...

well,
i felt no need
to go clean my kitchen
before i read this tale...

btw, i know that tavern -- i sometimes hang there...

/t.

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

/t.: Stay away from the fish if you go back - the Nasty Ogre will pull it out of the garbage if he starts running out...

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger /t. said...

phos,

i'm the cook there

/t.

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

If /t.'s the cook we're all in trouble.

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

/t.: Then you'd do everyone a favor by not going back.

LL: I hear he always burns the lamb...

 
At 5:45 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

Thats a great Moral, in fact, I'm going to try that on my bedroom closet tomorrow. thanks for stopping by.

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

No, he set fire to the lamb. Nothing happens though.

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

tkk: Likewise!!

LL: That's good. Dolly never looks too concerned in any of those pictures, flames or no.

 
At 11:18 PM, Blogger How do we know said...

I loved the moral of the story best!

 
At 7:18 AM, Blogger nanuk said...

Yeah, a clean kitchen perhaps, but for how long? In my kitchen the rule is that the first dirty plate appears as soon as I finish a mountain of dishes. Sorta like Sisyphus and that rock, eh?

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Damsel Underdressed said...

This is my absoulute most favorite post that you have ever done! I love it!

I just cleaned my entire house last night, kitchen and bathroom included. Then a friend came over to drink a bottle of wine with me and watch a couple of movies. Things weren't looking too clear but my house does sparkle. :)

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

Phos...you brought a smile to a Maydent this morning :)
It's eerie actually- that I was in my kitchen, making breakfast, and thinking- "I need to straighten this mess out" (we are trying to get ready for a yard sale next week- and I swear- stuff is everywhere!)- and I felt pretty sure that I would feel better about things if I got my kitchen in order.
So- that's what I'm going to do.
Took my motrin with breakfast- had my tea (and fiber drink- ick!)-
Now I need to roll my sleeves up and get busy.
Now- if I can just stop feeling guilty for not going to church today...
:P

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

HDWK: Thanks. Good to see you again!!

nanuk: Tel me about it! I got the sink emptied, a couple of hours later I am right back where I started. Seems like all I do on the weekend is clean the kitchen. I swear there are 10 people living in the house vice 2. The dogs don’t use dishes as a rule so I can’t pin the blame on them!!

DU: Thank you! We like having folks over because it is the only time the Tiny House gets a good scrubbing down.

Mayden: Glad you dropped by! Clutter causes stress. Hope you had a side of eggs with that Motrin, it can be rough on the stomach. That fiber and Motrin diet is a tough one!! I found fiber in capsules, no taste. As for church, if indeed God is everywhere, then he won’t miss you.

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger Kirsten N. Namskau said...

So... Today I cleaned my kitchen and made some cookies...

 
At 8:38 AM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

ditto - clean the kitchen yesterday but not sure it opend my eyes well maybe to the fact that Grumpy needs a to do list that has put you dishes away and clean after yourself while I am out of town

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger KB said...

Great story, got a few laughs, don't need to clean my kitchen...it's usually always clean....I know what THAT means...I'm ALWAYS f'n confused about life!!!! ;)

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Kirsten: Cookies?? What kind of cookies??

DAK: I should clean as I cook and sometimes I do, but just got overwhelmed this time...

kb: If you ever get it figured out, please fill me in...

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

Garbage fish? Ewww!

 
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,

 

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