Saturday, January 13, 2007

Brute Force

It is a very exciting weekend around the Tiny House – time to clean up. With the Lunar New Year coming up it is best to start out with a clean house – wipe the last so to speak and begin a new.  This is better then “Gringo New Year”, as I like to call it, where you lie to yourself about a life makeover for the upcoming year.  This holiday starts with cleaning up the house - I may still be overweight, drink too much, and beat the wife, but by God the house looks great. I don’t really beat my wife, as far as you know.

The biggest challenge it’s the garage - normally I wouldn’t venture in there without body armor, or at least a whip and a chair. Then I remembered something I, ironically enough, keep in the garage that could speed things up.  Wish I had a couple more and then I could clean up my neighbor’s house too…

Well. Can’t just stand around here jawing with y’all (as much as I would like to) the joint ain’t gonna clean itself – Fire in the Hole!!!

17 Comments:

At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

mhh but can you containt he blast?

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger /t. said...

phos,

is that a real
grenade
or a green army man
grenade

?

/t.

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

DAK: With the neighbor's house

/t. You'd be surprised what one picks up while in the service of one's country I have a “gator” mine out in the garage, another good reason not to venture out there! Always remember, without his pin, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

 
At 7:09 PM, Anonymous hammer said...

Crap I have to do the same thing minus the ordnance. I'm still looking at the Christmas tree wondering how it's going to take itself down.

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

When you get done cleaning your house you can come over and clean my room.

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous L>T said...

grenades, very handy I'm sure. scarey but handy. I don't know if i'd ever use one, but it would be nice to have a couple...just in case ;]

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

hammer: The solution to the tree is easy - slap a garbage bag over and leave it alone. Next Christmas pull off the bag and you're ahead of the game.

LL: Ok, but I don’t do windows…

l>t: Make sure your pitching arm is in good shape – you’ll want to lob that bad boy as far away from you as you can.

 
At 2:52 AM, Blogger Die Muräne said...

If you don't have a shell left for your neighbour, I think a little fire will do as well ;)

There's still a month to go... looks like there's much work to do, if you already start now

 
At 5:55 AM, Blogger fairscape said...

I knew if I kept reading I would find a solution for my overstuffed garage problemo... you should go into business... and oh yeah, what do you have for still leaking roofseses...

 
At 9:20 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

DM:Fire isn’t as fun to watch. Someone sent me a video clip of a soldier dropping a grenade in an old washing machine - it was hilarious!

FS: Hello!! I was getting worried about you. Most of the stuff I have just makes the hole bigger – lots bigger. Can you get help from the county or state? I think if you contacted the local TV news with your story you would have enough going for you that they might put it on the air and catch the notice of some Good Samaritan contractor – they can’t all be evil.

 
At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fast clean-up-system. Everything done in a snap of a finger...

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Kirsten: The tug of a pin...

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger Fuff said...

Great idea. Where can I get one?

 
At 11:31 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Fuff:You guys aren't even allowed to own guns so a grenade might be a tall order. Here in the US you can get most any kind of weapon, with predictable and unfortunate results.

 
At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I prefer old rags dipped in lighter fluid.

If you get a 5-alarm fire going out in El Mirage I bet the Surprise Fire Department would show up, too. Oooo baby!...Can I help?

 
At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you doing here Gringo?

 
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