Yes, It is all my fault, so sorry to whoever or whatever you are or were

My house sits on what used to be an agricultural field. Cotton grew here that is certain, I can see the water tower for the gin still standing, though the onset of a Wal-Mart will bring an end to the rusty tower’s reign over the plow rutted fields. No migrants needed to harvest the roses, or melons, the orange groves only a mile distant are starved of their water so builders can put in a new mall or whatever will best line their pockets.
Even the desert is chewed away to make room for latest clothing store or other innovation to part the hardworking citizens from there money for that is what we are all about anymore. It is shameful that subdivision crowd up against ground where the originals carved crude marks into the dark basalt – who knows why, the secret went with them, they are long gone. Perhaps it is a cycle where groups replace each other land use changes, though I fear it is not for the better.

I am in no small part responsible for the destruction of this farm land. Good agricultural land is also best for growing subdivisions and cities. In my attempt to escape winter’s harsh bite I have caused a piece of arable land to become a site of mud coated box of chicken-wire and particleboard. Something to keep the sun off my bald head I suppose.

Tomorrow I will mock the former use of the land by planting herbs I have lined up along my walk. Rosemary (I love the fresh pure smell), Basil, Thyme, and Oregano. If I don’t kill them as in the past, they will grace various salads, soups, and other meals. With luck they will send their roots down to chisel the minerals out of the tight soil, split atoms, do their solar powered chemical magic and turn the sun beaten ground into energy.



Skip This Part, Insane Rambling Brought on by little sleep - sleep lost because I am undoubtedly a Monster

I have regrets. I miss Wisconsin and in my heart think of it as home, though I wandered more then stayed. I often think of forsaking the desert and going back, though I doubt I could stand the cold, I relish the thought of having no neighbors. At present I can almost stretch out y arms and touch my neighbor’s house. We are side-by-each and that arrangement is typical of Arizona and other places experiencing booms where developers work to squeeze every nickel out of the ground. Sometimes my wife accuses me of wanting to live on my own island and this may be so. There are times I feel I need to be away from others of my kind, yet I am drawn to them – man is a social animal.


The Part Where I am Directly Responsible for all the World’s Problems – This is pure venting and not worth reading.

Oh, and now we must say Man, woman, and all in between are social animals. I must be so very careful in choosing words that I do not offend someone or something lest I be branded. I made a comment about dredals and became Anti-Semite. Used the word gay and became a homophobe. Ah yes, I am the vilest death-camp guard that stalked the earth and there is no doubt of that. There are those, however, eager to label that use phobe to denote a fear of some groups of people. Fear is far from the mark. I am sure I will be charged with crimes against humanity for this next statement but it is not fear but disgust on my part. Maybe watching us murder each other or fornicate on TV has made us numb and now things I was taught were bad are now ok. Hell, lots of folks do this or that so now, by default, it is the norm. If you express an opinion that isn’t to their liking they are quick to vilify you and force their version of morality on you like it or not.

I do have a penchant for saying things without thinking but am to the point where if folks get a bent out of shape over a comment and decide I am a phobe, or NAZI, or a son-of-a-bitch or whatever hurtful remark they might use to put me in my “proper” place then to whatever hell they believe in with them. Seems nothing can be said with out treading on someone’s rights, feelings, and having it quickly and unerringly pointed out. I don’t want to purposely hurt anyone’s feelings, maybe my point of view is out of date and yes I am terribly thoughtless, but I am through apologizing for not agreeing with certain lifestyles or attitudes I was raised to believe are not right. The Civil rights movement was a good thing, I firmly believe the Indians (ah shit, there he goes again) are entitled to the Black Hills in South Dakota, Custer was a bastard not a hero. I honestly like people and enjoy the spirit of community but goddammit to the lower reaches of all the hells I refuse to put up with the self righteous holier than thou horseshit simply because I made a some wisecrack. Hallelujah fuck it all!