Drug induced Wandering

What a way to start the weekend! Thursday someone put the Moxie on me and all the Windex in the world couldn’t put a dent in the rash that broke out on my hide. I was a red blotchy itch factory from head to toe. Went to the Doc to get a new drug and he fixed me up. One of the pills he gave me to unhist the histamines rendered me unconscious, which was good because I certainly didn’t get any sleep last night. Aside from running afoul of the evil-eye I am not sure what prompted my body to rebel. It may be “Mike’s Revenge”. I do have a lovely picture of the devastation my wife took – that’d be a real HNT treat, wouldn’t it?

The doctor came in with a young female pharmacist in tow; she was learning the ins and outs of the medical business, and got to see me without a shirt. I told her that would provide her nightmares for the rest of the month, even without the lovely welts. She probably went home and gouged her eyes out after that!! She’ll die a virgin for sure.

Aside from permanently scarring the mind of young pharmacist it has been a rather uneventful Friday. I did boil up a couple bratwursts for lunch, now I just have to hope my brother doesn’t read this and find out I didn’t grill them. I have brought shame upon my house by boiling the holiest of all sausages – they will probably never let me back into Wisconsin. I do sometimes boil them in beer with onion (my brother would shudder as he considers onions to be Satan’s apple) before grilling. That gives them a good flavor, but you still need the crisp outer skin only grilling can provide for the brat to meet Wisconsin standards. Don't even think about frying them - that is considered a felony.

This weekend is what we refer to as a dog weekend. We just hang out so dogs get a lot of attention. We wind up spending some quality time watching Snow Dogs (the pups love that movie) and eating Jalapeño popcorn. Jalapeño popcorn is a spin-off from the military, a prime example of how developments from government programs can make our daily lives easier and more enjoyable. Ok, it isn’t stealth popcorn or anything such as that, but it is still damn good. Most squadrons have a popcorn machine similar to the kind found in theaters. The SNACKO, short for Snack Officer, the lowest ranking officer in charge of restocking the snack bar, is in responsible for making the corn. He/she drops Jalapeños into the oil while it warms up. The heat from the capsaicin is transferred to the popped kernels. I do the same thing in a pan on the stove with good results. It is a little known science fact that huskies track, kill, and eat Jalapeño popcorn in the wilds of Siberia.

Most of the weekend will be relegated to shoveling out the house. With both the better half and I working, we tend to let things pile up around the house just a wee bit. The flotsam and jetsam of our daily lives, lovingly coated in shed husky fur lies quietly waiting our attention. We were supposed to hit Cinco De Gringo tonight, but I didn’t think the crowd would appreciate the appearance of Phos, the Alligator Boy and all I need is to add alcohol to all those pills. Hell, it worked as a good defense for the Patrick the latest in the line of Kennedy booze-hounds. It was nice of the Capitol Police to give him a pat on the back, take him home, and tuck him in rather then tossing him into the hoosegow. Patrick did check into rehab today. I suspect that facility has a special Kennedy wing for recovery from drugs, alcohol, venereal disease, and noggin trauma, but I am just guessing about that. It’s good to be a Kennedy, you can even commit murder and rape with no consequences. They should be Republicans.

Looking back over this I noticed I rambled aimlessly. This would have garnered me a D- from Ms. Hottie, my high school English teacher. I wouldn’t get off scot-free, not being a Kennedy or other Celeb and that’s for sure, even though I think I have a solid case for drug impairment (prescription not recreational). Maybe they have rehab for hack writers…