Monday, April 24, 2006

Illegal Oil Immigration

I’ve given this a lot of thought. We don’t have enough oil, but we have too many illegal immigrants. The immigrants want to stay and become citizens – I think we can work this out. Mexico has plenty of oil, so from now on every illegal who carries a barrel of oil over the border with him or her gets automatic citizenship (kids under 12 get in free).

The illegals already here are another problem, we could either have them send to their relatives in Mexico requesting a barrel of oil, thereby reversing the flow of money across the border, or we could fine Mexico one hundred barrels of oil per day for each illegal. Mexico would have to fess up, or send their version of the FBI up here to corral and remove their citizens. Either way we come out ahead. When the world hands you lemons…

Next: Al Qaeda seat covers

13 Comments:

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Fuckkit said...

Remind me again, why don't you rule the world?? ;)

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Becky said...

LOL! That's great! Best idea I've ever heard, you should run for city council man and work your way up!

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger nanuk said...

Phosgene, aren't the vast majority of illegal immigrants former Pemex employees, and their influx into the US part of Pemex's retirement package?

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger Die Muräne said...

could I pay with cheese?
or chocholate...(belgian, lol)

 
At 9:25 AM, Blogger KyuBall said...

If we could harness the methane created by mexican food consumption, that might be a good source of alternate fuel, as well.

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Timmy said...

Best.Idea.Ever.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Nanuk: Yes, we are the main social service plan for Mexico.

Timmy: Thanks! Are you attending the Million migrant march on 1 May? The boys were going to call the one here off until our sheriff tossed some illegals in the slammer for coming on over uninvited and all.

Kyball: If we coudl turn the ass kissing going on between the politicians and the illegals in to energy we could leave the a-rabs sucking air through a straw. sucking air through a straw.

Fukkit: I applied for the job, but they told me I was overqualified

Becky: Politics is out, I can't lie with a straight face.

DM: Gueyre please.

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

They have oil? Why didn't we just invade...um...free their country?

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Always said we should have invaded Mexico and Venezula and not Iraq and Buttslamistan

 
At 7:31 PM, Blogger wallycrawler said...

Fuck that Venezula would kick the US's ass ! If ya think Iraq is tough try an angry South American militia . Steal from those guys and ya don't come home brother , not even in a body bag !

Best to steal your goods from the helpless like Iraq or North Africa.

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger wallycrawler said...

Besides most of your fuel comes from Canada not the middle east or Mexico , almost 90%. Most of the US's sweet crude comes from Mexico or the gulf . Middle eastern sweet crude goes to Europe , China , and other far eastern countries . The Iraq crude almost goes exclusively to China . Scary to fight for nothing isn't it ?!

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

WC: Your right about Central America, besides we have enough indigent folks, we don't need to add someone else's.

 
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