Grazing is for cows

Lots of folks I know have switched to being vegetarians. Some folks at the temple are born again hard grazers – no eggs, cheese, or any other animal product. Personally I embrace my omnivorishness wholeheartedly and see no point in changing.

Evolution has given us a mighty gift – we can eat anything that doesn’t eat us first. Not all God’s creatures are as fortunate. Take the snail kite, the bird, not the flying toy. It lives in the Everglades and only eats a certain kind of snail. It is such an avid snail eater its whole being has been modified for just this task. If this snail was to die off, these birds would be, ecologically speaking, screwed. The snail dies off, the bird dies off, but I don’t care because I can eat anything and still have food – not that I’d’ve eaten either snail or kite in the first place. I have to wonder how dedicated some vegans are anyway.

The dishes served at the temple were excellent and all vegetable, except there was meat- like tidbits mixed in. Sure looked like ham, but it turned out to be “textured vegetable protein.” Not sure what the FDA’s take is on that, but it sure looked and tasted like ham. . I could mold a nice t-bone out of a bucket of cow manure, plenty of textured vegetable protein there I’d guess, but would you really want to slap that bad boy on the grill? Doubt it.

There was another dish that tasted just like fish. I don’t even want to know how that was accomplished. Then there’s all the Boca crap. Boca dogs, Boca meatloaf, Boca burgers and Lord preserve us – Tofurkey. If a person is going to eat veggies, that’s’ fine, have at – but don’t make it look like meat. If you’re going to eat something that looks like meat, then you might as well eat meat and be done with it – rather get hung for sheep as lamb. You didn’t technically eat one of God’s creatures, but you were sure as hell thinking about it as you chow down on that faux-cheeseburger or pseudo-dog.
Then there are the splitters. Cows are off limits but fish are ok. I guess the guide line is cute and fuzzy things are protected in some way, shape, or form, while scaly slimy things are fair game. Or eggs are ok. Can’t eat mom, but have at the babies. Makes sense to me. And anyone who won’t eat cheese, well that’s border line immoral! I’d never be able to go back to Wisconsin if I gave up cheese. Hell, might as well not eat bratwurst either and make it a mortal sin.

The bottom line is it’s your life, so whatever. If you want to stand out in a field cropping the grass, who am I to stop you. As for me if it runs too slow and tastes good it is food, be it off a tree or My Friend Flicka, it’s all good.

Next time (special for you grazers): Do plants have feelings?