Wanted Dead or Alive

If you come across this joker, please wrap him up and send him my way so I can beat him to death with the POS Verizon phone I just got. I would love to hear him saying "can you hear me now?" from a shallow grave in the desert somewhere. He'd make a nice buffet for the coyotes anyway - something on earth should get some use out of him. We had to swtich becasue we get our wireless ervice through our regular phone company. They switched the service they partnered with to Verizon Useless, so here we are.

I always hear about people lost in the wilderness calling on their cell for help. I have to find out who they use, I can't even make a call from the store down the block, let alone buried under six feet of avalanche snow.