Wide Awake

Sure, almost midnight here and I feel awake - figures. I lie in bed as I often do and my thoughts kind of swirl around me, jumping from one thing to the next. Tonight I began thinking about the glue that binds everything together, Emerson's Oversoul, god if you wish, that spark of divinity within each of us that comes forth to speak with us when we quiet our minds and escape the busy highway of life. I think that is why I admire Buddha - I do not worship him, for I do not believe he would have intended that, but I admire him and Emerson alike for realizing that god lies within. All we have to do is find a moment of solitude and listen to the very quiet voice normally drowned out by the day's turmoil to find our way through life, to make the proper decisions, to feel empathy for all we are connected to, every particle in the universe, ever other being. Buddha saw this, he got it and I believe we can too. He had the one precious gift, the ability to listen to the inner voice and understand what life is about, what he was about, what his true calling was - not to be a god but to spread the secret to finding the key to life, the presence of an oversoul, and help his fellows realize the divinity within and the bond with the universe as a whole. I thought about that a lot as I sat in the quiet of Wisconsin away from cares and worry, listen to the noise of traffic die away and the rustle of the leaves and the thoughts of being home, home again calmed me to the point where I could hear myself for the first time in a long time. I have never felt such serenity as I did just sitting there where I was raised.

Back again in Phoenix, the noise the bustle too many people crammed into too small a space - the continuous din drowns out the voice entirely. No wonder large cities have such crime, everyone is so busy trying to get somewhere in a hurry they don't stop to allow their inner voice to guide them on the right path. There is no way to escape the constant pounding of the city, no time of day or night, there is no where to escape to, even the desert is filled with ATVs, loud tourists, and the noise of motor bikes. Here all I feel is anxiety and miss the moments of serenity found in my old back yard. I'd give anything to capture that feeling again.