Busted

By now you probably know if Santa found out about you playing a quick round of hide the pencil with your secretary or thieving office supplies. If you had a chunk of coal waiting for you (or a bundle of switches depending on where you are from) you got caught secretly wire tapping fellow citizens or cooking meth in your bathroom. If there were some nice presents, say Santa renewed your subscription to “Gigantic Hooters” magazine, or left you any kind of power tool, except for that lame piece of shit for opening jars, you were either a lot better this year than you thought you were or Santa is giving you a Mulligan.

I’ve already received my favorite gift - just having (most) everyone here. Having my family or at least what’s left of it close by really makes me feel good. In the words of Kurt Vonnegut’s uncle, “If this isn’t nice I don’t know what is”.