Monday, December 19, 2005

The Attack of the Nanny 911 Beast


I watched Nanny 911 tonight and couldn’t help but see some pattern developing through out the series of shows. First, dad is a neglectful bastard and mom is a hard working and put upon (it never seems to be her fault). Second the Nannies, despite being billed as from “around the globe”, are all from Britain. They are also all farm animals. There is only one that approaches humankind and she is covered with bruises from all the ten foot poles. I am also suspect of the whole show. Nanny walks into the insane asylum masquerading as a home doing her best Mary Poppins, and a week later everything is just peachy and the Nanny is shelling out for a trip to Hawaii. No one can solve some of the problems they have on the show in a week without resorting to heavy artillery.

Another big thing I noticed is that the parents don’t know when to stop. If they have one kid that turns out to be a total freak of nature they figure the next will be better. The old lady keeps squeezing them out until her uterus is trailing about three feet behind her when she walks and they have the entire cast for the circus sideshow. Instead of the trip to Hawaii the Nanny should send both parents to a surgeon for spaying/neutering. Come to think of it, some of those parents are poster children for forced sterilization - they have some real mouth breathers. Oddly enough, one show featured a British husband and he was the biggest mouth breather of them all - not quite royal caliber mind you, but damn close. Before the Nanny arrives the parents assume it is all the children’s fault, after the Nanny we all learn dad is a neglectful bastard and it is all his fault.

Fortunately everything turns out fine, except the Nanny is still the hose- beast of the damned and provides the material for a months worth of my nightmares. I would like to see one episode where the family realizes they are just totally screwed and do the murder/suicide thing, and include the Nanny, though from the looks of her (them?) I believe even the bullets would be scared off.

4 Comments:

At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, it's not always the "dad's" fault, it's the parents fault. There are far too many children that run the household these days. WHY? Parents feel guilty about working? Parents have been working for generations, both mom's and dad's...but they knew it was what they needed to do in order to make ends meet. They didn't feel guilty, they had no reason to. Maybe parents feel guilty these days because they are working in order to purchase the newest electronic toy for thier kid or the latest tech tool for dad or some beauty enhancement for mom. If you are truly spending your time working instead of spending time with your children so that you can purchase more crap...then you should feel guilty.

For those of you who "just want your children to have it better than you did." Handing them everything on a silver platter is NOT the way to go, letting them earn what they want makes so much more sense. When you grew up (providing you actually did at some point) were you handed everything??? I doubt it. How are these kids going to learn to appreciate things if they do not get the chance to work for it?

Hevean help us and the Nanny's too.

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

Give the Nannies a break! Not everyone can look like Angelina Freak-lie.

Do you know how hard it is to find an attractive British woman? Why do you think they got Renee Zellweger to play Bridget Jones?

 
At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Timmy T. Napalm said...

Well, on the Nanny show the beast makes out like its dad's fault. As far as handing the kids something anon, I think they need - the back o' me hand!!! And where is Hevean? Is it somewhere above Heal?

 
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