Monday, May 03, 2010

Don't wreck your grill


I was horrified to read an item by a Canadian woman about grilling vegetables on her new grill. Apparently Canadian men haven't read the rules regarding grilling or her husband would realize the biggest rookie mistake of all is letting your wife near the grill in the first place. The second is allowing vegetative matter to taint the finely tuned meat cooker that is your grill. The grill is an altar of the meat god, and nothing pisses him off quicker than someone polluting his domain with some fru-fru veggie concoction. Laugh if you will, go ahead and slap that squash on your grill, but don't come crying when all that comes off the grill ever after is burned up hot-dogs. The meat god don't play, my man.

So man up, point the wifey back towards the kitchen where she can steam spinach all the livelong day and then slap a cowboy cut steak on grid -- send the smoke skyward in praise of the meat god and you'll never have a grilling "situation." This is your turf, bad enough all the stuff from your college days has been relegated to the garage this grill is your one space where you have control. Or you can hand in your balls, forget the secret man-handshake and let your wife defile the grill with (shudder) singed lettuce leaves and retreat back into the garage looking through the boxes that contain what was once your life and pine for your manhood. Just saying...

12 Comments:

At 1:27 PM, Blogger /t. said...

ALL HAIL
THE MEAT GOD!

OOGA-CHUCKA OOGA-CHUCKA!

/t.

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger Eternally Curious said...

LOL! Ya better hope Julie doesn't catch wind of this post, Phos! (^_^)

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

Oh go ahead and cook veggies on the grill!

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger nanuk said...

Are you sure you are getting enough ruffage in your diet?

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

There's gristle in the meat...

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Chickie said...

Now I'm thinking we need a grill just for veggies...

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger foam said...

does this go for shish kebabs too?

mostly we put our veggies in foil if we cook them on the grill though.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger /t. said...

this blog
needs more
lamb recipes

/t.

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger evalinn said...

Lol, I like grilling most things, meat, fish, veggies, fruit! :-) And I´m so glad the bbq season is here. And this week something amazing happened. My neighbour, who has a balcony on our roof, wanted to lend it to me this summer!!

 
At 7:59 AM, Blogger dianne said...

Lol Phossy dear, if I could find a man to love me he could do all the barbecueing he wanted and send smoke offerings to the Meat God, it would be his domain ... meanwhile I would cook my fru-fru veggie concoctions in the kitchen, where according to you we women belong, or is that the bedroom? :) xoxox ♡

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger connell said...

so, where does that leave the open can of beer on the closed grill (cooking meat) being as how beer is hops and that's a veggie?
I dunno.
I know I used the grill all year long so many times people thought I lived down that area of the country.
Then they find out I use the grill in the snow and they...
back
away
slowly
towards
the
door....
a whoosh and gone!
Oh well, more for me!

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Fuff said...

HAHA! I agree. Aside from kebabs that have the odd bit of pepper and mushie on..

 

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