TV is Dead

TV programming has really bottomed out.  The only thing you learn on The Learning Channel is about freaks of nature or a tired redecorating show.  I don’t want to Discover how hoodlums build motorcycles, or know anything about tattoos.  Then there is all the sales crap.  I pay for TV so I can receive paid programming.  That makes sense.  I can’t tell them I don’t want their religious crap, mormon nonsense or the Spanish speaking channels – sometimes I actually forget I am in the US.  I love to cook but the Food Network has become stale and self-serving.  The shows I do like are always repeats.

Even the local channels are disappointing. I watch mostly for the local news, but the newscasters on our local Fox network are idiots.  I don’t  know if they think there’s a CNN scout in the audience or what.  When the cop gets done telling him they don’t have a motive and they can’t discuss the case at this point, their anchor monkey feels obligated to ask if they know why the crime was committed and if there is anymore the cop can tell about the case.  It is like they aren’t even listening to their own crap.  And no, I won’t be surprised by who committed the crime – You don’t know me well enough to determine what will surprise me and what won’t so just drop that line. When they do manage to get something right the dude running the graphics screws it up.  I won’t even get started on the donkey they have doing the weather.  

Then there’s the programming. TV does a lot of research on their markets and will play to the lowest common denominator.  That is why shows like Firefly get cancelled and shows like American Idol, 24, and the wife (AKA beast) swapping show endure.  I think they should combine American Idol and 24 and release real nerve gas and have Sutherland see if he can save everyone.  It would either be a really exciting show, or we wouldn’t be bothered with the crap.  

TV is also the home of the never-was.  There is Simon with no appreciable talent beyond being an asshole (hell, I can do that – sign me up!) judging talent.  Paris Hilton is another that has found you can buy or screw your way onto the little screen, even when you have absolutely nothing to offer.  If I wanted to watch whores, I could hang out on Van Buren.  Even the movie previews they try to tease you with suck.  Here’s a tip – if you want people to buy your special premium movie channels, show some movies that don’t totally blow.  Better still stuff the mormon crap and give the suckers, I mean the viewers the channels.  

It is high time to pull the plug and tell them exactly where to put the cable or position the satellite.