Sunday, March 26, 2006

TV is Dead

TV programming has really bottomed out.  The only thing you learn on The Learning Channel is about freaks of nature or a tired redecorating show.  I don’t want to Discover how hoodlums build motorcycles, or know anything about tattoos.  Then there is all the sales crap.  I pay for TV so I can receive paid programming.  That makes sense.  I can’t tell them I don’t want their religious crap, mormon nonsense or the Spanish speaking channels – sometimes I actually forget I am in the US.  I love to cook but the Food Network has become stale and self-serving.  The shows I do like are always repeats.

Even the local channels are disappointing. I watch mostly for the local news, but the newscasters on our local Fox network are idiots.  I don’t  know if they think there’s a CNN scout in the audience or what.  When the cop gets done telling him they don’t have a motive and they can’t discuss the case at this point, their anchor monkey feels obligated to ask if they know why the crime was committed and if there is anymore the cop can tell about the case.  It is like they aren’t even listening to their own crap.  And no, I won’t be surprised by who committed the crime – You don’t know me well enough to determine what will surprise me and what won’t so just drop that line. When they do manage to get something right the dude running the graphics screws it up.  I won’t even get started on the donkey they have doing the weather.  

Then there’s the programming. TV does a lot of research on their markets and will play to the lowest common denominator.  That is why shows like Firefly get cancelled and shows like American Idol, 24, and the wife (AKA beast) swapping show endure.  I think they should combine American Idol and 24 and release real nerve gas and have Sutherland see if he can save everyone.  It would either be a really exciting show, or we wouldn’t be bothered with the crap.  

TV is also the home of the never-was.  There is Simon with no appreciable talent beyond being an asshole (hell, I can do that – sign me up!) judging talent.  Paris Hilton is another that has found you can buy or screw your way onto the little screen, even when you have absolutely nothing to offer.  If I wanted to watch whores, I could hang out on Van Buren.  Even the movie previews they try to tease you with suck.  Here’s a tip – if you want people to buy your special premium movie channels, show some movies that don’t totally blow.  Better still stuff the mormon crap and give the suckers, I mean the viewers the channels.  

It is high time to pull the plug and tell them exactly where to put the cable or position the satellite.

10 Comments:

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Tea and Books, etc said...

This is why I don't watch the boob tube, PK. My brain is already a morass of detritus, aside from the 'my mind is a big zilch/black hole'.

Yes, it's true. I've been TV-free for over 15 years if you don't count the Sept 11 attacks, the deaths of Mother Theresa and Princess Di, and the Cartoon Network/History Channel/Learning Channel when I visited my nephew a few years back.

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Fuff said...

I don't watch the TV either. I find most programmes, aimed at 'Joe Public', highly patronising, sanctimonious and for the sake of my own mental health, I switch orf.

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger nanuk said...

It's a sad commentary on the state of television, but I find I get more into a good cartoon than anything else. Animations are the only kind of show pushing the envelope right now.

Actually, having lived through too many decades of television, I can safely say there was never a golden age - need I remind you about "My Mother the Car"?

 
At 7:07 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

I had a plastic model of the car that was in the show. I think it was either a model-T or a Model A, but I can't remember for sure.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

I think you have to endure the rigorous process of having your skull cracked open, your brain sucked out through a straw, your grey matter dumped into a blender with a moldy banana and set to frappe and have the resulting protein shake (with your daily recommended amount of potassium) poured back into your head in order to become a TV Network Executive.

And Phos, for Pete's sake quit watching the weather!

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

You know, I think the same fate befell the "Fox 10" Phoenix newscasters.

 
At 2:32 AM, Blogger Die Muräne said...

Spring's back here soon... so we'll wont need the tv anymore. looking forwards to spend much more time outside!

 
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