Sunday, February 27, 2011

Capitalism for Hillfolk

Capitalism is founded on buying and selling shit. There are several things necessary for it to work, some shit, obviously, and an exploitable population. It really doesn’t make any difference what kind of shit as people will buy anything as long as the shit maker convinces them that their miserable lives totally suck without his shit and once they obtain the shit, for a price, their lives will be better, they’ll be prettier, or their pits will no longer stink.

The exploitable population is needed for two reasons. Generally speaking the shit doesn’t make itself, the shit maker needs people who are willing to work for low wages to do the actual shit fabrication. It is great if the exploitable population is nearby, but not necessary. If the local population organizes for higher wages, benefits, or dignity, simply shift the shit processing to another exploitable population, say India or China where proles are willing to work in deplorable conditions for a blow of rice and there are none of those pesky child labor laws.

The second reason for the exploitable population is the purveyor of shit needs someone to buy his shit. It helps if the population is dimwitted and gullible because it is easier to peddle shit to them and convince them they can’t live without shit. Tell them they are ugly, fat, or behind the times, something to undercut any confidence they might have and it’s off to the races. One thing on the shit merchants side is that stupid people tend to be prolific breeders, creating a never ending string of consumers and makers of shit.

And there it is capitalism in a nutshell. Pretty basic, as the shit man will need resources, either ones readily available or raw shit he has taken away from someone else. He’ll also need one or more shysters to make sure no one gets into his shit and a tractable government that he can buy off to keep their nose out of his shit. That sums up the situation here pretty well.

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At 6:37 PM, Blogger foam said...

hurrah for shit!!
hey! wanna come and see my shit?

At 6:55 PM, Blogger Little Lamb said...

Such language!

At 6:57 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Foam: Buy more shit now!

LL: It's ok to use the word "shit" now, it's even in the Dictionary -- look it up!

At 12:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


you've nailed it!


At 4:51 AM, Blogger Jack K. said...

Now this is some cool shit.

Thanks for the quick, easy lesson in capitalism. I suspect it wouldn't take long to apply this reasoning to other forms of commerce, trade, etc.

Thanks for the clarification. You do good work.

I hope you don't mind if I link this on my FB page.

At 10:28 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Unfortunately the gov't has arranged it so we're all in the shit.

At 8:52 AM, Blogger wallycrawler said...

So Capitalism is fer shit?


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