Sunday, January 29, 2006

El Mirage Sucks


Word to the wise, check out the city you are plalnning to live in before you buy the house. If the City Hall and the Police department are in doublewide trailers, look elsewhere for a home. A hard lesson, but that’s just one of life’s little speed bumps. The city started out as a conglomeration of dwellings for agricultural workers and because of political infighting never went much beyond that. Now, however, the government is taking steps to save the city, but are aiming a bit low on some of the businesses they are trying to attract to the city. In fact I thnk they should change the city motto to "El Mirage, City of Lowered Expectations".

When one of the board members of your HOA is all a flutter because the city is going to get a Super Wal-mart, you know you have bottomed out. Add a Food City (or Food Shitty as I like to call it – more of a refugee camp than a market, actually), a sports bar, and a Chuckee Cheese and you have yourself a by-God tourist magnet. I suspect that tourism would be a the main legal industry here in El Mirage, though I expect the manufacture and sale of Meth, holding illegals hostage for money, and stolen car parts are the main industries at this point. What a frikkin’ garden spot.

Too late to move now as the housing market has been inflated by Flippers and other assorted greedy assholes so here I will reside. Happy day!!! Hopefully this will serve to warn others of the dangers of moving to paradise.

7 Comments:

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Rabbit said...

Come on, that's totally a resort you've got there.

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

But El Mirage and their sad little library need you. I think someday the U.S. will be one big Walmart- Starbucks.

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger KyuBall said...

From the stories that Sarah has shared on her blog, I'm surprised that she doesn't live there.

But, Shit-Yo...they got a super Wal-mart!!!

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger Xanadu said...

Hey...Sarah said they have a library!!! That must mean at least a couple people are able to read! There maybe hope! You could always run for Mayor or something of the sort. Then you could change the name to Wally World...I do think Sarah is right. Someday we will be flying the great flag of Walmart over all of this country and of course instead of that great flag place in WI, the flag will be made in China!

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Yes, El Mirage has a library. I donated a box of books and tripled their collection.

The main use for the library is as a target for rock throwing vandals. No worries, though, I suspect the bulk of the population downtown can't read in any language.

 
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