Can you see this now??

Cell phones could become one of the leading factors in the downfall of our country. Everywhere you go (and even while you are getting there) people from post cradle to almost pre-grave have one of the contraptions glued to the side of their face, or have an earphone implanted in one ear and are happily babbling away. The effects of all this phoneage range for the mildly annoying to the outright dangerous.

The annoying is usually the farm animal that has the entire aisle at the grocery store blocked while chatting away with Marge or whoever. Her ass causes a total eclipse of the meat counter - no one is going anywhere and Ms. Big mouth is oblivious to the rest of the world, talking away with her “lifeline” trying to get help deciding between the HoHos or the Devildogs. A corollary to this is the young kid wandering aimlessly as young kids are wont to do, jabbering to one of his pals/latest love (who is also wandering aimlessly) and stepping right in front me of without so much as a glance. As if the young kid’s mind wasn’t already pre-occupied enough with images of disemboweled women and children from his latest slasher video game (more on those another time) know he/she is expending what little brainpower is left on running their mouth. I believe these diabolical devises are making a rude society even ruder – before you know it will be worse than, dare I say it – the French.

The dangerous part is when Mr. Slimy Contractor or Ms. “Porking the Soccer Coach so Timmy Gets to Play More” decides that they aren’t going to let their driving get in the way of their conversation. They can’t use the turn signal because the hand is full of a piece of plastic crap sent to us by our Japanese friends in retaliation for beating them in WWII. I read that even with the hands free set up trying to drive and talk at the same time is risky business. Seems you can only partially concentrate on both, so the driving usually suffers. People can’t even watch where they are walking whilst jabbering – I had a tinhorn businessman step right in my path and when I called him a rude bastard he got all uppity with me. Wonder how he would have felt if I would have just walked right through him? I imagine he is real threat behind the wheel of his leased Beamer.

Here are some simple rules:

Nothing is so important that you can’t wait to get home to call

Kids don’t need cell phones

At the theater in the middle of a movie is a lousy place to yak with Marge (on the phone or in person)

No one wants to hear you yakking away while trying to eat at the next table

The “Tele”” in telephone means you don’t have to shout.

If it feels like you‘re being rude, you are

If you simply must talk on the go in your busy, busy life, then at least pull over or stand the hell out of the way so you don’t offend/kill anyone.

I know this won’t accomplish anything and everyone will go gabbing merrily away, but after the fatal crash (so sorry for the other poor bastard that was involved) I hope they bury Mr. Chatty Chatterton with the cell still clutched in his hand. Wait ‘til he sees the roaming charges in Hell.