A Time in Wrinkle

Going to do a fame or shame test.  A friend of mine got one of those eye-bag removing ointments to try out.  Have to see if it works.  The bags under my, I mean my friends eyes look like he’s packed for a ‘round the world cruise and if the lids droop any further he’ll have to blink twice to open his eyes.  My pal isn’t really vain, I mean being bald already him doing anything to improve the skin is like putting a chrome bumper on a dump truck.  We’re not after the fountain of youth here, just trying to eradicate the Droopy dog look.  I think he’d settle for Deputy Dog actually.  Anyway, have to let you know if the crap does anything beyond doing wonders reducing the excess weight in his wallet.  

Bald is kind of natures joke.  I like to tell people I am just evolving forward.  What do we need hair for anyway – it just plugs the drain and it is kind of gross. For example the guy at the pool that looks like he is trying to grow his own sweater, or the girls in Europe growing their own socks.  No one is happy when they find hair in their food, especially those little curly ones when you are out in a restaurant.  You just don’t know where those suckers have been or if they had any buddies you didn’t notice in the part of your dinner already eaten.  Bon appetit!!

Baldness does have its advantages.  I don’t have to screw around with my hair in the morning, don’t have to worry about it turning gray, or clogging the drain – we have huskies for that!  I have long given up figuring gone is gone.  I already have my hot chick and as I have mentioned before mans main motivation are tits anyway.  The only reason men worry about how they look is so they can attract woman (well, usually women) so they can have some titties to play with. I once heard a comedian say”Tits are like toy trains, they are meant for the kids, but the old man always winds up playing with ‘em”.  Truer words have never been spoken.  Been there, done that, time to move on and add to the T-shirt collection.  Most of mine now have logos of rib joints.

The other thing that I (and my friend) have going is the fact I can’t see what I look like –that’s your problem.  So what if they lock the woman and children away as I walk down the street, my looks don’t bother me.  In fact I can imagine myself being as handsome and young as I want as I am the only one that it matters to – in fact my wife thinks I am very youthful, about three years old I think she said. So next time you see me coming down the street towards you, don’t waste your time screaming in horror, I won’t notice!!